One Regret, No Life
by Kyon-kun Choreboy of the World
Summary: Kyon decides he doesn't want to deal with what Haruhi says anymore and it ends in a rather interesting way. The brainchild of a tired One Year, One Life author suddenly realizing there's no way to fit this into the actual plot. Oh well.


Suzumiya Haruhi. Because of her, my life has drastically changed.  
But am I just going to sit here and take that?  
Like hell I am.  
I slammed the table and stood up, glaring at her.  
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Choreboy?"  
Choreboy? I'm your god-damned choreboy? Do you have any idea who the hell I am?  
"Choreboy?" I shook my head.  
"The Computer Club President's gone. He's not here any longer. However, in the inner reaches of my mind, and deep within my conscious, he fights on within me! I will stand up and fight against your injustice, going against God herself! Even if in doing so I end up dying, so long as I give it my all, I will emerge victorious! Who the hell do you think I am? I'm John Smith. Even if that is an alias ripped from Doctor Who, I'm not some damned dog or whatever the hell the root of Kyon is. I'm not the original freaking cynic, either! I am ME! John Smith the Time Traveler!"  
"Impossible! What the hell happened to my apathetic, completely lacking energy, moronic choreboy?"  
"I realized something. I don't have to take this. I can advance, little by little, slowly making steps towards greatness. That's how a drill works."  
"Why can't you realize that you're not destined for greatness, Kyon? Can't you see that I'm the real protagonist here?"  
I slammed the table and lifted my fist up high.  
"Because I've evolved! I've moved on! I don't need you anymore! You mean nothing to me! This... This is my drill! And with it... I will dig a hole to my own future! With or without you!"  
"I... I don't understand!"  
"You don't have to understand."  
With a start, I looked to the window and quickly rushed at it, jumping through it with my knee as high as I could make it go, as if I was doing high jump for the track team.  
My knee pierced through the window, sending glass shards throughout the room and to the ground below.  
Asahina-san merely gasped.  
Koizumi's facial expression actually looked negative for once.  
Nagato's eyes were wide.  
And Haruhi looked as if she was about to jump out of the window with me.  
As I began to plummet, I shouted, "Giga Window Piercing Break!"

Hey, Haruhi? Do you understand me now?  
My voice was always hidden, deep within the darkness. Unable to express myself fully because of fear of the end.  
Even if my words had no meaning, so long as I could express them, I would be happy.  
Because I wasn't able to, I was crushed. I gave up long ago.  
I don't even know right from wrong anymore. With you, it's impossible to tell.  
Not sure of what to do, I ran as fast as I could. Straight towards the window, every emotion I had ever felt was crammed in my chest, pounding against the barriers of my skin, muscle, and bone, trying to break free from its confines.  
The Snark Knight of yesterday lives on, even now, continuing onwards to his final goal.  
I decided something recently, Haruhi. I'm going to make my own tomorrow. With or without you.  
The answer to the riddle is finally for certain. Back on that day in which you hoped a magical happiness could come this way, I didn't quite know the answer to the questions within my head. Within my heart. But now? I understand completely.  
I no longer have the time to sit around and think about such trivial affairs, but for whatever reason, that's all I could think about.  
I'm never going to succumb to such vile dictatorships ever, again. You got that, Haruhi?  
I may have a lot of regrets. But I have to move past them.  
I've survived for this long, right? You've dragged me along, and I'm still alive.  
I'm the only one that can say this. The only one that can say they've managed to endure you for so long and on such a personal level.  
I still remember the time you mentioned you were seeking aliens, time travelers, espers, and sliders. Where do I fit in on this?  
But now, I think my selective obliviousness is starting to wear off as your logic finally unravels itself within my heart.  
I finally understand my role. The reason you want me in your damned Brigade.  
Today I understand more than I did yesterday.  
No, that's wrong. I always knew. I just didn't want to admit it.  
You always acted as if it was the most natural thing in the world, to be so god-damned tsundere about the whole affair.  
It seems our days are coming to an end as you plummet down beside me.  
Within my soul, I feel a strange sensation overtaking me.  
Even now, in our final moments, I realize that I still have a trump card. A card that'll allow me to live.  
The us of tomorrow will move onwards, hand-in-hand, for I have already revealed my trump card to you.  
We'll make our own futures.  
For I have already revealed that I am John Smith.  
As a barrier suddenly engulfs us and protects us, lifting us upwards towards the beautiful blue skies above, a feeling of uneasiness engulfs me.  
As we enter a Closed Space, together alone forever, I realize that I may actually be okay with this.  
After all, I get to spend the rest of eternity with a beautiful girl. That can't be all that bad, can it?  
For this time, it's not because she's forcing me to.  
I'm accepting it.  
I want to be with her.  
I love you. 


End file.
